I cried last night.

...hard.

What scares me is that I don't think I know why.

Certainly I had no reason, considering my wonderful weekend, and my successful raffle win (wii).

...What scares me more is that I might know.

But what scares me most is admitting it.

What Can We DO?

Every time I hear this song, it grips my heart.



I get to thinking about someone I knew who committed suicide.

I think about the FIVE people who went to or worked at my high school who committed suicide in just the 4 years I was there.

I think about the several people I know who threatened.

I remember the trips to teachers I trusted...to counselors who let me down.

I remember the late night phone calls...and text messages when we couldn't be heard.

But it still happens. And sometimes, there isn't anything that can be done.

But many times...there is.

We can look more. We can listen more. We can love more.

We can treat someone to lunch.

We can simply smile as we pass by.

"Small things" touch lives more than we will ever know.

What "small things" have you done lately?

What I'm DOing: Assisting Invisible Children

[This post is a part of Mandy's DOing series over at Just a Girl.]

In 2003, three young guys from San Diego, CA traveled to Uganda to make a film. These guys returned broken by what they saw…but came back with incredible footage about night commuters and child soldiers.

Once word about this film spread, a movement began, and the non-profit Invisible Children was established.

But what does this have to do with me?

Last winter, I took an international human rights class, where we discussed issues from China to Mexico to Uganda to right here in the good ol’ United States. This was one of the classes that forever changed me…changed my heart.

Sure, I knew of the tragedies happening around the world. But this class put a whole new perspective on things. It also introduced me to Invisible Children.

One day in class, we watched this video:



That night, I was looking into the club on campus. I was talking to the president to see what I could do. I bought 4 of the DVDs to help support those suffering in Northern Uganda. And I prayed. Possibly harder than I have ever prayed.

For the next few months, I took midnight walks in the park. I went to the zen garden and prayed with everything in me. And I gave my time and energy to helping the club (even to the point where I was in tears because I thought the cookies I made to sell at a festival were going to be ruined).

But that was just the beginning for my relationship with Invisible Children. This year, I’m participating in Schools 4 Schools, where our school raises money for a school in Northern Uganda. (You can check out the program here and follow us here). Our goal is to raise $20,000…and send a few to Uganda to help out.

Hopefully, we can help those suffering in Northern Uganda…and help locally as well. By reaching out to the community here first, we can better reach out to those thousands of miles away.

And I couldn’t be more excited.

Are You Addicted to Your Crackberry?

Last night, I was lying in bed, in the dark, and watching the news relay this story:

"A new survey found that about 35 percent of professionals would pick their PDAs over their spouses if they had to choose. A surprising 87 percent take their personal digital assistants into their bedrooms, and 84 percent check them just before going to bed and as soon as they wake up, according to a work-life survey from Sheraton Hotels & Resorts. Another 85 percent say they look at their PDAs in the middle of the night."

Chicago Sun

I had gone to bed at about 10:30. But I was still awake after 11...and for a good half hour after this story aired.

Can you guess what was keeping me awake?

....
...
..
.

Can you?

Yep, my Blackberry.

I had told myself that I would stop texting as soon as I laid down, for I was really tired from running around ALL day.

But it didn't happen. Instead, I spent a good 45 minutes texting. About nothing important. I spent that time checking facebook, even though that's what I had just finished doing when I went to bed in the first place.

There was no reason to be doing any of it. I thought that the survey results were just about the most ridiculous thing I had heard all day (aside from Kurt Cobain's daughter having a suicide-themed sweet 16).

Yet, I still texted away. Without even thinking about it.

And though I may not choose my Blackberry over a spouse, it certainly affects my relationships. I pull it out no matter who I'm with.

What would I do if I just couldn't Google something right on the spot?

What if I couldn't twitter at any given moment?

...My relationships would be in a much better place.

I would be in a much better place.

So let's hear it. Are you addicted?

Spreadsheets and Calendars Galore!

During my first year in college, I ate out a lot. A LOT.

I gained some weight, but nothing that was too big of a deal.

My main concern, heading into my second year, is the money.

Orange County isn't exactly a low cost of living place, so eating out nearly every night cost me a good chunk of change...an amount that could have saved me a lot of stress during the summer, as I should have had much more money remaining for the summer.

So this summer, I've created a plan to cut down on my spending...and simultaneously lead a healthier life.

There will be spreadsheet budgets and calendars of when I can go out to eat.

There will be a rough schedule of when to go home to save money on gas.

There will be grocery lists so I can't claim I don't have anything else to eat.

There will be calendars incorporating times to go the gym, times to study, and times to relax so maybe I can finally get a grip on all of my stress-induced ailments.

I've had all summer to think about this, and oh my golly, I'm excited!

All of the lists, calendars, and spreadsheets are exactly what I need.

My roommates thought I was crazy with all of my lists last year.

Oh, they have no idea of the possibilities!

Don't Just Live There, DO SOMETHING.

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This month is a month of change over just a girl.

And I must say, I am SO excited about it.

Among many things (some of which have not even been revealed yet), Mandy has set up an amazing month, where bloggers talk about how they are working within their own communities to make a difference...to create change in the world around them.

I am honored to be a part of it, and am so excited to read about what different bloggers are doing around the world.

Go check out mandythompson.com and get involved!

Carpinteria On My Mind.

It's been a week since I posted. I seem to have been rather busy, though I don't remember exactly why.

I did, however, just get back from a three day camping trip up in Central California, right on the beach.

Spending three days with my closest friends...quite the treat. Sure, I spend most of my days with them. But three days straight...well that gave me just what I needed.

You see, I've kind of been all over the place lately, and it's really started to affect a lot of things in my life.

So this trip came at the perfect time...though it was certainly far from perfect.

Tide pooling, beach volleyball, campfires, walks along the beach at sunset, and four of my closest friends.

How could I not feel better?


What do you do when you just need to relax?